Adentures of Alex Swan
by Cherry Rowell
Summary: Alex is the brother of Bella Swan. He's gay. Which causes some (good) changes to happen to the Forks. He meets the Cullens and later the Pack. Humor/Yaoi
1. Chapter 1

Adventures of Alex Swan

Ch. 1

I groaned as I banged my head against the door. Today was so not easier.

"Bella, please open the door!"

"For the last time Alex, no!"

"I swear if there is no hot water left. Wuthering Heights will be burnt alive!"

The water stopped pouring. I quickly flew the stairs into the safety of the kitten mentally chanting _shit, shit, SHIT! _

"Hey son!"

"Hey Ch-dad─ah!"

Charlie was wearing a shirt that said 'Do it for the Gaybies' and a rainbow baseball cap that said 'Pride!'.

"So son, waffles?"

Bella came down the stairs and gawked at Charlie. I quickly dashed up the stairs before my dad could launch into a speech about I will always be his G.B.F.

The bathroom was steamy but fortunately Bella saved me two minutes of hot water. After that I stared at the mirror. I have one brown and one turquoise eye. Most girls (guys) said it was my most unique feature. I brushed my teeth and winced at the harsh mint. One day a pure soul will invent chocolate toothpaste.

**Cherry: :( **

**Aaron: Calm do─ **

**Cherry: SHORTEST CHAPTER EVER! **

**Aaron: *sweat drops* What about the others? **

**Cherry: *blushes* Oh yeah. **

**Aaron: And we have five requested stories. Preferably the spideypool one.**

**Cherry: You're right. We have to post at least four fanfictions before New Years. **

**Aaron: We don't own Twilight. **


	2. Chapter 2

Adventures of Alex Swan

**Ch.2 **

**Cherry: *smiles* **

**Jasper: So who is Alex going to love in the end? **

**Cherry: Don't know yet. **

**Aaron: *singing* No boyfriend no problem **

**Cherry: *laughs* **

**Jasper: Please review. And Cherry Rowell doesn't own Twilight. **

I followed Bella as she walked to the cafeteria. We had already fallen back into routine in which I would steer her away from "evil" walls, as she "sanely" put it.

"Here we are Alex─ow!" She rubbed her forehead.

Oops, slacking on the job.

She opened the door and walked to a table that was being stared at by many kids. I could see why. A beautiful blonde with piercing yellow eyes glared at me. I glared right back. Bitch, much? A brown, curly-haired brunette smiled at her in an attempt to calm her down. Next was a honey haired, lithe guy who looked like he was dying. Next to him was a spiky haired pixie whispering in his ear. Finally a bronze-haired Adonis with buttery eyes stared at me.

"Hey guys! This is my brother Alex!"

Blondie continued to glare. The honey hair man turned to me and mumbled. "Hello." A southern melody.

I smirked. "Howdy."

Bella and Curly laughed. Alice and Jasper smiled. Blondie and now Adonis glared at me. Rosali─ow!"

Rosalie smacked him on the arm. I turned my attention to the pixie who acted as if there were pop rocks in her blood stream.

"HEY! My name is Alice! This is Jasper! We are going to be best friends!"

I gaped at her. Who has a voice that high and talks that fast? It was soprano.

Butter Eyes smirked at Alice. "Of course you would jump at the chance of having a G.B.F."

Alice glared at Edward. "Shut up, Edward! I care about people unlik─"

She was cut off by a wild snarl that was echoed by a growl.

Bella smiled weakly. "So, Alex what do you think?"

I stared at the weird teens. "I already have some nicknames."

Emmett perked up. "What are they?"

I pointed to Rosalie, Edward, and Alice. "B.B, B.E., and K.P."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "And those stand for…"

"Blonde bitch, butter eyes, and killer pixie." I then stood up and walked to the exit.

**Cherry: Alex is so cute. **

**Alex: Thanks. **

**Cherry: *Squees* YOUR'RE HERE! **

**Aaron: *still singing* No boyfrie─ **

**Alex: *kisses Aaron* **

**Cherry: Damn it! My camera is full! Well I hope you like it! Please review! Constructive criticism please! **


	3. Chapter 3

Adventures of Alex Swan

Ch. 3

I sighed and watched Alice walk towards Bella with a box dripping glitter.

Earlier today, Alice and Emmett had invited me over. Apparently I'm one of the few cute drops of glittery awesome left in the world. Their words, not mine. But I have to say, I'm flattered.

"ALICE NO!" Bella screamed.

"Why not?!" Alice whined.

Bella just glared murderously at the "glitter box".

Alice stared at the box and then Bella. "Bella you know I've never had a hu─an experience. So please tell me why you won't let me have my fun."

"Because…"

"What?"

"Exactly!"

"ALEX!" Both girls yelled and turned to me.

Alice picked up a lipstick bullet.

"Alice I don't do cross dress." I warned.

She sighed. "I figured, but you can help me with Bella. Especially after your stunt with Jasper."

I blushed while Alice smirked. "How is Jasper?"

"Hiding under his bed."

_**THE CAR RIDE TO CULLEN/HALE RESIDENCE **_

_I shifted on Jasper's lap. The southern gentlemen looked like he wanted blush. The Volvo didn't have enough seats but Alice insisted I sit on Jasper's lap. _

"_Nice going Edward. Cramped and awkward. Classic combo." _

_ Butter Eyes turned and smirked at me. "I figured you would love your current seating arrangement." _

_I blushed furiously, but fortunately a wicked thought formed. I turned around and faced Jasper. _

"_Hey Jasper." I paused and wrapped my legs around his waist. "Maybe you could─Oh! We're here!" _

_**Back to the current time **_

I sighed then smiled. "I have been wanting to add highlights to her hair."

"Alex!" Bella screamed.

"_What?!" _I yelled back. There was a time when Bella was quiet. It was a golden age.

**Cherry: Yay! Updates are coming. **

**Aaron: We don't own Twilight. **

**Cherry: In the future I will have longer chapters. **

**Aaron: Hopefully 1000+ words. **

**Cherry: Yeah I write more on paper for some reason. **


	4. Chapter 4

Adventures of Alex Swan

Ch.4

Edward was silent as he pulled into my drive way. After giving Bella her makeover, she decided to come home later. Butter Eyes had offered to drive me home. He nudged me.

"Do you hate me?"

I was shocked then rolled my eyes. "No. I don't, jeez! So sensitive!"

He turned to me. And leaned forward.

"Butter Eyes?"

He chuckled.

Our lips met in a cool, passionate way. The first thing I realized was, Butter Eyes' lips are really smooth. He broke the kiss and slid over to my seat. Then we started again. Edward placed a hand on the small of my back. Electricity coursed through me but I also felt a venomous feeling stabbing my conscience. I was after all making out with my sister's boyfriend. I opened my eyes and saw Edward's black as coal. What happened to the melted pools of butter?

**Next Day**

I stabbed my waffle. I'm the worst brother ever! Last night was a mistake. Edward─

"Alex!"

I just need to Bella, I love her, but─

"_Alex_!"

"WHAT?!" I screamed back. I thought Forks was supposed to be quiet. "Oh." My voice was meek. Standing before me was an angry, teenage girl with silver, red, and green highlights. The doorbell range.

"Saved by the bell!" I narrowly dodged Bella's swipe at me. Racing towards the door a black Converse sailed over my head. Thank you mom and dad for not giving her aim.

When I opened the door, Alice blurred past me. Jasper gave me a shy, "Hi.", before walking inside. Already there was shouting coming from the kitchen.

"It's not that bad Bella!"

"Alice! I look like a Christmas version of Rogue!"

"Who?!"

"Do u=you even watch X-Men?!"

**School **

I was doing math when a note landed on my desk. I looked up and caught the eye of a baby-faced blonde. He winked at me.

I looked back down to my worksheet and rolled my eyes. Another note landed on my desk. Then another one. And another one. It was easy to see how this was going to play out.

Finally the bell rang. I got up and walked towards the door when Baby Face stopped me. "Did you read the notes?"

"Does it look like I read them?" I asked.

I know I'm being mean, but having at thrown at you can really PMS your day.

Bella was waiting for me by locker.

"Welcome to the gayborhood!"

"Very funny." I twisted the combination lock.

"I'm serious, there's a growing LGBT community ever since you've arrived!"

I blinked. I've only been here for three days!

Two notes fell out of my locker.

I picked them up and handed one to Bella.

_**Dear Alex Swan,**_

_** You're eyes are the equivalent to the ocean mixed a latte.─Admirer **_

I could already tell this guy was fumbling towards the end. Bella was laughing. "Looks like you've got an admirer!"

I scowled. "He just said my eyes were like saltwater coffee."

Bella laughed even harder. I switched my books. "See ya Bella!"

**Cherry: Oh my gosh! It's been forever! **

** Aaron: Yeah. Sorry the reboot of school is always fast paced and hard. **

** Cherry:*nods* Anyway, I don't own Twilight. Review please! **


	5. Chapter 5

Ch. 5 Adventures of Alex Swan

**Cherry: I hate not updating! **

**Aaron: *sighs* I know. You were sobbing into chocolate fro yo on the way over here. **

**Cherry: You haven't tasted life until you've eaten and cried at the same time. **

**Aaron: *dead pan* so life tastes like salty chocolate fro yo. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. **

I walked past the janitor's closet only to be yanked inside.

"Butter Eyes!"

He smirked at me at me before leaning in.

I shook my head. "No! No! You're dating my sister!"

"Funny how that didn't cross your mind in the car." He leaned in again.

I glared. "Fuck you." I turned around ready to open the door only to be slammed against it.

"What are you planning to do?" He whispered into my ear. I screamed only to be silenced by his hand as he covered my mouth. Edward repeated his question.

After ten seconds he removed his hands. My face was on fire, matching the temperature in the room. "Eat. In the cafeteria. It's Taco Tuesday."

Butter Eyes rested his head on my shoulder. Neither of us spoke. The silence was destroyed by stomach growling.

"Come on Butter Eyes, I'm starving!" I struggled again.

"Don't tell Bella."

"Fine I won't now─ah!"

Edward spun me around. We were face to face. I kind of wondered how that was possible since had Edward at least two inches on me.

I blushed.

He stared into my eyes. "I mean it. Don't tell her."

I sighed before wrapping my arms around his neck.

_**School ending **_

I stepped outside with a sad expression. Who could blame me? My sister's boyfriend is cheating on her with me.

"Alex!" Alice ran towards me with a familiar glint in her eye. I stayed still, knowing I couldn't dodge her.

"Guess what there's a new─"

"I'm not cross dressing Alice."

"Damn it!"

I noticed Jasper leaning casually on Edward's silver Volvo.

"Hey Alice. Lets say─"

"Deal."

I raised an eyebrow. "You don't even know what I'm asking for yet."

She bounced up and down, happily. "Yes I do! No time to explain. Do it now!" She shoved into the direction of Jasper.

I stumbled a bit. I think Bella is rubbing herself onto me.

"Hey Jasper!"

He looked up and quickly looked down. I smiled. This guy was extremely shy.

"Hi, Alex." His voice barely reached my ears.

"I need your help with something. I found this red lolly pop and book bag and I think tastes like─", I paused and pulled out said red lollypop. I licked it. "Cherry. What do you think Jasper?"

Jazz pants was motionless. I slowly began to suck on it while pressing myself against him.

Eye contact was crucial. The atmosphere burned as my eyes met his glazed ones. Before a kiss could formulate, Edward shoved me away.

"I'd really appreciate it if you guys didn't have sex on my car."

I think I just reached a new level of pissed!

**Cherry: Man I hate school! **

**Teacher:… **

**Aaron: Ooooooohhhhh! **

**Cherry: I'm just gonna go. **

**Aaron: We'll try to update more this time. **

**Cherry: Yeah sorry. My laptop was being a real $#!#. Meaning it crashed. **

**Aaron: Why are you censoring? **

**Cherry: Because Daniel Way censors Deadpool.**


	6. Chapter 6

Ch.6 Adventures of Alex Swan

**Cherry: Wow we have a lot of fanfiction to write. **

**Aaron: I know. We still have to update Drunken Madness and we have requests for more Spideypool fanfictions. And Two Stucky ones. And a Hetalia fanfiction.**

**Cherry: I love Hetalia! Anyways here's the story. I don't own Twilight. **

** Cullens's House **

Alice pushed a box that was taller, and probably heavier, than her into the room.

I stared at nervously. "Alice?"

"Hmm?"

"What's in the box?"

"Just the necessities." She kicked lightly and cloud of glitter floated from it.

I blinked owlishly.

Alice jumped up and caught the edge of the box. She looked even tinier and girly as her legs swung back and forth.

"What are you looking for?"

"Makeup palette." She replied.

I groaned. I really did not want to do this. Damn Jasper for bringing cowboy cuteness back!

Alice stepped down, her face only slightly glittery. She zipped over with a silver box in her hand.

"Okay just close your eyes."

I did and felt something wet being wiped on my face.

"You have to start with a "naked" face."

Alice began applying something to my face.

"What are you doing now?"

"Putting CC cream on."

"Why?"

"I want to do a full makeover." Alice said. "Okay you can open your eyes."

She was rummaging through her silver box. I decided not to look in the mirror. I like surprises.

"Found it."

"Get that thing away from me."

In Alice's hand was eye liner.

"What's wrong?"

"Devil stick!"

"What?!"

I only shuddered. Eye liners creeped me out. I did not like the thought of black shit being smeared on my waterline. She moved towards me but I leaned back only to realize too late that I was in a chair.

"Ouch!"

Alice helped me back up and moved the eye pencil toward my eye again.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

"What the hell is going in here?!"

Alice and I looked to see a pissed off B.B.

"She is trying to poison my eyes." I glared at K.P. and she glared right back.

"I'm just trying to apply eye liner."

Rosalie stared at me. "So, you're that kind of gay."

"What do you mean that kind?!"

**Time Skip─2 hours later**

Alice and I glared at each other.

"I can't believe it took me two hours just to do your eyes Alex."

Why the hell is she complaining I'm the own wearing mascara and eye liner. My eyes were still a little watery.

Alice just rolled her eyes then beamed. "Time for outfits!"

**Time Skip─45 minutes later **

Alice and I stared at each other venomously. Clothes were strewn all over the place. Rosalie walked in and raised a delicate eyebrow. "What the hell is going on here?"

"Alex has no sense of style." Alice smirked.

I picked up a blush pink dress and ripped it.

N+Both Alice and Rose screamed. "It's crime to rip a Gucci."

"It's a crime you even bought it."

Rose scowled. "Why the hell are you even doing this?"

"I made a deal with Alice and now I'm following through."

I really didn't want to prance around Forks wearing a dress and makeup.

A couple of bras and panties caught my eye. I began removing my clothes.

"W-wait what _you _doing?" Alice asked.

"Stripping. Hand me that lace back top."

Alice did.

I stared at the top before looking up to see Rosalie and Alice staring at me. "Can one of you help with the bra?"

"Not that I'm complaining, but why are you suddenly into this." Alice asked she sorted through her vast array of perfumes.

"I just want to see how many guys I can fool."

I blushed. I wonder what Edward would do if he saw me like this. The back of the shirt was see through. I ended up pairing it off with acid washed jeans.

Alice scowled. "Alex you have to wear a skirt." She tossed a black mini at me.

"I prefer something that can actually cover my ass."

Rosalie giggled.

Alice picked up something lacey.

"NO!"

Alice pouted. "I didn't even say anything!"

"You picked up a thong. That says a lot Alice."

I scowled. "I'm wearing my underwear and _this._" I picked up a somewhat modest skirt.

I winced at my reflection. I looked so…._girl. _

Where were we going anyway?


	7. Chapter 7

_**Adventures of Alex Swan Ch.7 **_

**Cherry: Hello! **

**Aaron: *mumbles* Hi. **

**Cherry: Okay here is the next chapter! I don't own Twilight. **

The floor vibrated. Alice had taken us to this club. It was new and wasn't far from home. The name of it was Blue Fin. It had a weird, grungy, beachy theme that was actually appealing. The myriad of dancing, drunk teens agreed with me.

I spun into Alice. My skirt fluttered. "Hey!"

Alice grinned and looped her arms around the small of my back. I placed an arm around her neck. "Switch!" Before I could blink, B.B. was in front of me.

"Hey Bl─Rosalie!"

"Hi." She wrapped her arms around my waist and began to dance. Her blonde hair moved as she swayed and jumped to Katy Perry. I realized something wasn't right. Rosalie scowled at me. I yelped as I was jerked forward.

"Dance with me dumbass."

"Oh right." I blushed then shook my hair before dancing.

I danced through the crowd in an effort to reach the bar. There were four bartenders. One had a pop punk waiter look. I stood in front of him.

"Hey, what can I get you?"

"Hm, can I get a Ja─" I stopped and stared at a poster behind the cute guy's head. It showed a cloud shaped glass filled with a rainbow colored liquid topped by what could only be described as sparkly sprinkles.

"I want it."

"Huh?"

"The rainbow drink behind you."

The guy turned then faced me again. "Are you sure? It's kind of intense."

I nodded.

"Okay."

Okay. With incredible speed he made an exact copy of the poster drink. Nice to be at a place that didn't false advertise. I grinned. "Thanks!" I took a sip.

I coughed and looked around. I was outside. OUTSIDE?!

"Alice! Rosalie! _Alice!_"

I was in an alley. I sighed. Maybe I could find a gas station or a diner. I flinched at ping sort of sound. Like glass hitting the pavement. I turned and saw two dark figures walking towards.

Turning back I walked faster and made it out the alley and turned right. Two more shadows appeared. I backed up only feel an unfamiliar chest.

"Hey, check out the doll!"

I grimaced as the smell of beer wafted from him.

There were five guys now.

A bleach blonde squinted at me. "She doesn't have much of a chest."

I gasped as the drunk behind me grabbed my waist. "Don't touch me!" I squirmed out of his grip. All five were in front of me now. "Oh, fuck, it's a drag!"

I scowled. Sweet relief flooded through me maybe they'll leave me alone. The dark smirks scared that dream out of me.

Suddenly a silver Volvo, sped out of nowhere nearly hitting one of the idiots.

Edward popped out looking absolutely lethal. "Get in."

I scrambled to the door as Butter Eyes snarled murderously at the jackasses. I closed the door and turned to Edward slaming onto the gas pedal. We sped off.

"Are you okay?" His voice was icy.

I swallowed. "Yeah, I'm fine."

It was silent for about two seconds before Edward huffed. "CCan you say something? Anything! Something to distract me from going back there and killing those men for what they were about to do!"

"Um, can we get dinner?"

Edward chuckled lightly. "You're hungry."

"Yeah."

"There's a diner not too far from here."

"Okay cool."

We pulled up in front of a old timey diner. Through the window I could see waitresses skating and a juke box. Five bucks it was playing an Elvis song or something from Grease.

I realized that Edward was my hero tonight. An idea popped into my head. What are most fantastical heroes rewarded with?

Edward looked at me and smiled. I leaned forward and jolted slightly at the cool touch of his lips. It was sweet not as passionate as our previous ones. When I pulled back, his eyes were gleaming pools of butter.

"Alright, let's go!"

We entered the diner, it was called Frenchy's. A redheaded waitress guided us to a booth.

"Hi, I'm Cherry! What would you like today?"

"A hamburger and fries. Do you have strawberry soda?"

Cherry gaped at me. Edward busted out laughing. I blushed then scowled. "What?"

The waitress smiled with a sparkling gleam in her eyes. "I didn't know you were ahem male. Yes we do have strawberry soda. What would you like sir?"

"Nothing for me thanks." He flashed her a crooked smile. Cherry blushed.

"Okay, I'll be right back with your drinks."

I started playing with my skirt. Edward glared at me. "Talk."

"The hell?"

"Say something."

Okay. "What time is it?"

"That's a question."

I rolled my eyes. Really. "Just be glad I'm talking."

"1:13 a.m."

"Aw shit! I'm dead. Charlie is going to kill me."

"Relax, I'm sure he'll understand."

Before I could retort, Cherry skated back with the drink then skated away after placing it on the table.

"How were you able to find me?" I took a sip of strawberry soda. Fanta.

"Can you call it hunch?"

"No."

"Randomly driving through town and spotting you?"

"No."

"GPS?"

"Huh?"

"Faith."

"What?"

"Where's waldo?"

"Edward!"

"Alex!"

I hadn't realized we were leaning towards each other. Edward's eyes darkened. I stared at his perfect lips leaned─

"Here's your,oh sorry!"

We turned and saw Cherry holding my dinner.

"Thanks!"

As I ate, Edward explained himself. "I can read minds."

I nearly choked on a fry.

"I was following you, Alice, and Rose, I'm going to kill them by the way, when I lost you at the club. I started driving around the area and then I heard,saw, what those men thinking and I went crazy."

I frowned in thought. "So you can read my mind."

"No, I can't read yours or Bella's."

"Does she know about this…gift?"

"Yes."

Oh. Wait my mind is protected. YES! "Anything else I need to know?"

He stared at me. "Yes. I'll tell you tomorrow."

I beamed. "Great!"

Edward grinned. "Eat your fries"

Edward pulled into my driveway. I groaned. "What time is it now?"

"2:47 a.m."

"I'm dead."

We got out of the Volvo. I sighed and was about to walk to the house. Edward yanked me back into arms. I blinked as I was spun around. We were now face to face. His hands gripped my waist as mine gripped his hair. The kiss wasn't that long but it was amazing!

Edward grinned and waved good bye.

I stepped inside and flinched when I saw Charlie. Oh boy!

**Cherry: Yes over 1000 words! **

**Aaron: Here's a juicy drop pop. **

**Cherry: Thanks! **

**Aaron: Review please! **


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